So 2011 is drawing to a close and I've learned so much, about myself, about others and after some rather sucky (I can think of a more descriptive word, but i'll keep it PG) eperiences, I've learned alot about people. I've been lucky enough to have a very supportive husband and kidlings who know just what to say when I'm feeling a bit down. I've been surrounded by genuine and loving people who have supported me, given me advice and help me find my corner of the sky.
I've also, however, been exposed to some rotten apples in the fruit bowl of life. I've shared myself, offered support and attempted , where possible, to be a good and true friend only to get bitten in the butt (your welcome, once again to substitue for a more effective word). Why is that?? Do people believe that because you are kind and considerate that you are weak and easily manipulated??? If so, why??
I don't have an answer, I don't have a solution but I do know something that may shock you. It's extremly simple, it took me a while to realise and some more nasty experiences but the truth is, the world is full of people who, to put it midly, suck! Now that we've cleared that up, the big question remains, where to from here? Learming the lesson is one thing, but how do we make sure we are never exposed to the same betrayal or hurt again?
Should I perhaps have a checklist, one I could simply tick off qualities like I tick off my groceries as they enter the cart. it could go like this:
Not a drug dealer, tick.
Not beaten up by your boyfriend, require me to fetch you while you house is surrounded by cops, take your son and watch him while you try get your stuff organised, offer you a place to stay, drive you around like the chaffeur in "Driving Miss Daisy" and receive no thanks, tick.
Not so self-absorb you manage to forget the members of your entourage, tick
Not broke and be begging me for money everytime we see each other, tick.
I could then create a secondary list, that would require the person to rate themselves on a scale form one to ten. It could go like this:
On a scale from one to ten, one been not at all and ten been extremely so, rate you character:
Are you a self-centered, egotistical bastard whose sole purpose in life is to make others miserable?
Do you have any intentions of pretending to care about me and my family but upon been near us act like a conceited twit?
Are you an ungrateful moron who once has received all available help will then claim that you received none at all?
Perhaps, my attempts at exposing rotten apples could leads us to all carry books recording all our characters. Our potential future friends could read it and having all the details make an informed decision. That way, should you be a selfish user, said potential friend could ask themselves, do I want to became friends with someone who will only waste my time and abuse my friendship. Having made that decision, they could move forward with persuing the friendship or simply hand the book back with a non-chalant "better luck next time".
Unfortunately, despite my liking the idea, it's not a realistic approach to making sure we never get hurt. Yet again, the truth of the matter is rather simple, we cannot change who we are. We can only focus on the good and when the bad presents itself make a decision as to how to handle it. When we are betrayed, we could simply stand our ground, inform that person that you will not tolerate the treatment you are experiencing and walk away.
The best I can do is wish you luck and remind you that there are hundreds of bad people out there but there are also lots of decent, friendly and authentic people. Just be more selective, look before you leap and trust your intuition. Making friends is hard, trusting them even harder but if you give them a chance some people may surprise for the better.
My new year's resolution, focus on the ones that matter and let the rest work itself out.
If that doesn't work, you could always we could always try taking up boxing, I hear it's rather soothing...just a thought.
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Tinkle tinkle toot
You might find this heading quite odd but it's quite appropriate for what currently negates my days. For the second time round, i'm in the process of toilet training.
For the old schoolers, like my dad, I'm starting to late. For others, I'm starting to early. Either way, I'm having some great success.
This success was totally unanticipated. My little monster is 2 years old and very headstrong, the very thought of trying to undergo potty training while having a 4.5 year old around was daunting. Never-the-less with a gentle push from my dad I decided to give it a try. I'm rather excited that I did. Potty training is not for the faint hearted, it involves a strong understanding that things cannot happen overnight and a willingness to accept soggy underpants every now and then.
Having had a daughter first, the process was totally different. I started ridiculously early and by 2 she was fully out of day and night diapers. It worked out to my advantage, she was receptive to my challenges. Her character was such, that moulding a new routine involving a few potty trips was possible.
However, when I tried the same approach with my son I was shot down quite significantly. My occassional attempts resulted in a lot of screaming, lots of tears and a lot of frustration. Clearly neither party was ready for this new adventure. Now a few months later, with some guidance and a lot more patience I'm watching my little man run around in underpants. It's an awesome feeling.
It was as simple as accepting that their would be accidents, wet undies, puddles that would need mopping up and floors that would need disinfecting. It was about altering my daily schedule a bit in the beginning to get my little man familiar with the potty. We stayed home focusing on him to enable me to gage his signs and attempt the occasional sit down on the potty. To set the tone, we also took the little man underpants shopping to pick out some rocking undies. After a few mishaps, we had a huge peepee on the potty. Cheering and roaring erupting from all 3 anxious bystanders, high fives all around and a phone call to granny and there you have it. The first step on a journey to ridding diapers for good.
To date, we're on day 2 of having my little man in undies all day long and even during nap time. So far we've got every single peepee and more on the potty.
So, what's with the tinkle tinkle toot? Well, that was the secret weapon. He got a potty book that was so basic it got to the point using pictures and scenarios he could understand and relate to. Whenever he started to fuss, I'd whip out the book and read to him. The complete concentration distracted him enough to allow him to stop holding back and go on the potty. Once he realized he wouldn't get into trouble he seemed more receptive to a second, third and fourth attempt.
My best advise to any parent undergoing this process, patience!!!!
Happy tinkle tinkle tooting :D
For the old schoolers, like my dad, I'm starting to late. For others, I'm starting to early. Either way, I'm having some great success.
This success was totally unanticipated. My little monster is 2 years old and very headstrong, the very thought of trying to undergo potty training while having a 4.5 year old around was daunting. Never-the-less with a gentle push from my dad I decided to give it a try. I'm rather excited that I did. Potty training is not for the faint hearted, it involves a strong understanding that things cannot happen overnight and a willingness to accept soggy underpants every now and then.
Having had a daughter first, the process was totally different. I started ridiculously early and by 2 she was fully out of day and night diapers. It worked out to my advantage, she was receptive to my challenges. Her character was such, that moulding a new routine involving a few potty trips was possible.
However, when I tried the same approach with my son I was shot down quite significantly. My occassional attempts resulted in a lot of screaming, lots of tears and a lot of frustration. Clearly neither party was ready for this new adventure. Now a few months later, with some guidance and a lot more patience I'm watching my little man run around in underpants. It's an awesome feeling.
It was as simple as accepting that their would be accidents, wet undies, puddles that would need mopping up and floors that would need disinfecting. It was about altering my daily schedule a bit in the beginning to get my little man familiar with the potty. We stayed home focusing on him to enable me to gage his signs and attempt the occasional sit down on the potty. To set the tone, we also took the little man underpants shopping to pick out some rocking undies. After a few mishaps, we had a huge peepee on the potty. Cheering and roaring erupting from all 3 anxious bystanders, high fives all around and a phone call to granny and there you have it. The first step on a journey to ridding diapers for good.
To date, we're on day 2 of having my little man in undies all day long and even during nap time. So far we've got every single peepee and more on the potty.
So, what's with the tinkle tinkle toot? Well, that was the secret weapon. He got a potty book that was so basic it got to the point using pictures and scenarios he could understand and relate to. Whenever he started to fuss, I'd whip out the book and read to him. The complete concentration distracted him enough to allow him to stop holding back and go on the potty. Once he realized he wouldn't get into trouble he seemed more receptive to a second, third and fourth attempt.
My best advise to any parent undergoing this process, patience!!!!
Happy tinkle tinkle tooting :D
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Score 1 for mom
As this is my first official blog post I feel a need to share a little bit more about life in my household
In its simplest form, life with 2 small children is a challenge. In order to maintain some semblance of sanity I've instigated a daily routine which is obeyed without question, for the moment, by my offspring. The most important rule is "mommy must first drink her coffee", cliché perhaps but my kids are fed, dressed, coiffed and there rooms are immaculate before we leave the house. I've hardly ever been late for any appointment and since I've had 2 years to master the art of juggling 2, I consider myself quite good at what I do. We are continuously out and about taking apart in various free and not-so-free activities, we have play dates, park dates, picnics and so much more. At the end of the day, we've played, laughed, fallen down a few times, dusted ourselves off even more times and have a fantastic and sometimes not so fantastic story to tell.
This is my JOB!
I'm primarily responsible for raising 2 headstrong, hard working, dedicated but most importantly kind, polite and generous children. It's not a job to be laughed at, I'm never done, I get no days off, no kid free holidays or weekends, I deal with puke, gob, other unmentionables, cuts, bruises, and most recently BURNS on a daily basis. I've done all this and more because I'm their mom!
That's what us as moms do. It doesn't mean I know all the answers, sometimes I can't even make out the question. What it means, is I'm always here, I'm always available for a hug, a laugh or an answer even if I have to google or edit it.
It's a tricky job being a mom, sometimes we wonder if all our efforts sink in or get forgotten. But I'm learning that everything goes in even if we don't think so. I reaped a great reward not so long ago, my husband asked my 4.5 year old what she wanted to be when she grew up. Her answer, " a mommy".
Cause that's how I roll :D
In its simplest form, life with 2 small children is a challenge. In order to maintain some semblance of sanity I've instigated a daily routine which is obeyed without question, for the moment, by my offspring. The most important rule is "mommy must first drink her coffee", cliché perhaps but my kids are fed, dressed, coiffed and there rooms are immaculate before we leave the house. I've hardly ever been late for any appointment and since I've had 2 years to master the art of juggling 2, I consider myself quite good at what I do. We are continuously out and about taking apart in various free and not-so-free activities, we have play dates, park dates, picnics and so much more. At the end of the day, we've played, laughed, fallen down a few times, dusted ourselves off even more times and have a fantastic and sometimes not so fantastic story to tell.
This is my JOB!
I'm primarily responsible for raising 2 headstrong, hard working, dedicated but most importantly kind, polite and generous children. It's not a job to be laughed at, I'm never done, I get no days off, no kid free holidays or weekends, I deal with puke, gob, other unmentionables, cuts, bruises, and most recently BURNS on a daily basis. I've done all this and more because I'm their mom!
That's what us as moms do. It doesn't mean I know all the answers, sometimes I can't even make out the question. What it means, is I'm always here, I'm always available for a hug, a laugh or an answer even if I have to google or edit it.
It's a tricky job being a mom, sometimes we wonder if all our efforts sink in or get forgotten. But I'm learning that everything goes in even if we don't think so. I reaped a great reward not so long ago, my husband asked my 4.5 year old what she wanted to be when she grew up. Her answer, " a mommy".
Cause that's how I roll :D
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